Letters to JZ – Part 17: Happy 3 Months

From: RR
Sent: September-16-13 3:29 PM
To: JZ
Subject: Happy 3 Months

Hi sweetheart,

It’s a cool, overcast and kind of a miserable day today, perfect weather for cuddling in bed with that special person in your life 🙂

I wanted to send you a note to mark the day; it was 3 months ago today when we first met, and while it is a small milestone (if you can even call it that) when compared to couples who have spent years or even decades together, it means a lot to me because it was the first of many meetings where I got to spend time with an amazing woman who I absolutely adore.

I’m also writing this in real time. In other words, I started this morning when I got up (while it was still pretty grey outside) and then put it aside until early afternoon (which is now). I’m also discovering that it is a little easier to wax poetic when I’m being a bit of a smart ass, but of course that has no place in an email such as this, so I’m just going to write until I find that genuine place inside of myself and then I’ll share it with you. In fact, I’m looking forward to sharing many things with you.

Ok, here’s a good place to start……

I’m sitting in the Yorkville Lettieri where we agreed to meet for the first time, watching the world go by. I’m not nervous, but am trying to look busy by checking my phone – staring at the door waiting for you to arrive looks needy, which is not a good place to start.  When you arrived you stood outside and surveyed the place from the sidewalk and then reached into your bag, presumably to text me to say you had arrived. I started to rush outside to greet you, but hesitated. I just sat there and looked at you – I was really looking forward to us meeting. You looked really attractive in your photo and your profile was well written, but when you arrived you looked absolutely elegant. Tall and well put together, and much more attractive in person. I just had to stop for a second to take it all in. That initial walk and chat on the couches at the Hazelton Lanes Oval was just so easy and pleasant. In my mind’s eye I can still see your smiling face as we chatted about everything. The almond shape of your eyes, warm and slightly sparkling. Your easy smile with full lips which as I found out later are also very soft and warm. Being close to you just feels so comfortable. For me it’s all about the kiss, and that first kiss was warm and inviting – like something I’ve never felt before, but have known all of my life (if that makes any sense).

Hmmmm, the above isn’t quite what I expected, but perhaps I’ll try again later. I just want to let you know how special you are to me, and how happy I am to have you in my life. I do sometimes think of What Could Be between us, what the future could look like, and it doesn’t scare me. Which is a good thing and a bit of a step forward for me. I just have to let you know that I’m not always Mr. Perfectly Awesome and I’ll likely do things where you’ll think, WTF knucklehead, what were you thinking. I’m also pretty sure that these things won’t be life threatening, but I may lose a wee bit of skin in the process. Umm, hopefully not too much.

Oh, I also like to give hugs. You’ll get used to it ;p

Love and kisses,

RR.

xoxoxoxo

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From: JZ
Sent: September-18-13 10:34 PM
To: RR
Subject: Re: Happy 3 Months

Hello honey,

Thank you for the sweetest email ever. I was smiling while reading it at work and my coworkers asked if I was reading a love letter 🙂 then I just smirked lol

It is quite chilly these days but not on Friday, it will be about 20 degrees but it will rain. The weather is usually nice when we meet. However, it’ll be nice to cuddle in bed when it’s cold out too 🙂

Oh, Happy 3 months!! So we met on the 17th 3 months ago, I will keep this day in mind 🙂 Sorry that I didn’t keep track, but I am so happy we found each other. Getting to know you is one of the best things that happened to me for a long time. No one had been so sweet and attentive to me for years. You are truly a caring and wonderful person!

I am actually inspired by how well you can write. Too bad we didn’t meet sooner, you could’ve written my essays for me hahah I learned most of my writing skills from MSN chat when I was in high school. Ever since I got Internet when I was a kid, I only read a handful of english books. No wonder why my friends said I write and talk like a fob lol

You actually remember the details on the day we met! I remember that I already liked you by your profile picture, the one with you sitting on a rock or stairs. I thought you look cute  , natural and down to earth. Your profile description also made you sound like a smart ass 🙂 When we exchanged messages, you were so polite and easy going and that’s how you are in person too. When we finally met, you looked cute with a bit of shyness hehe But when we sat down,  everything seem so natural that we could easily sit there for two hours and talked non stop lol Do you remember that most of our conversation wasn’t about the arrangement? But more like a date where a woman gets to know more about the man and vice versa. Of course after that, the kiss was great too 🙂 yummmm..

As time goes by, my feeling towards you just accumulates, I started to care about you more and I feel that what we have for each other is reciprocal. Thinking about what could happen in the future between us doesn’t scare me too, I have a feeling that it’ll gear towards the positive side 🙂 maybe something beautiful will happen? It’s a lovely thought and keeps me happy when I think about you.

I have not once thought you were a knucklehead lol I just love teasing you because it gives me the kick. I like you to know deep down, I have a lot of respect for you because you inspire me in a lot of ways. You are smart, articulated, hard working, well disciplined and most importantly to me, you are a very truthful and trustworthy person 🙂 I am sure you have many more awesome traits, I will think harder next time hehe

So on Friday, I don’t know if you have any plans in mind. I just checked the showtimes and Prisoner is playing at scotia bank theatre. The only showtime I can make it to is 4 pm. If you like, we can meet there at around 3:30. But please let me know if you want to do something else 🙂 As usual, I just want to see you and admire your pretty face!

Oh I love hugs especially from you. Have a goodnight sexy 🙂

Xoxoxo

JZ

 

Sent from my iPhone

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From: RR
Sent: September-19-13 4:31 PM
To: JZ
Subject: RE: Happy 3 Months

Hey sweetheart

This was a beautifully written email from the heart. Thanks for everything you said in this note, that was very sweet of you and it really meant a lot to me 🙂

I’m struggling a little bit today with my writing. I’ve been messing about with this email since this morning, and I’ve also been fussing over a blog entry which I started last night. I can be a bit scattered at times and easily distracted, which is a result of the PTSD, and that makes it a bit of a challenge to sit still and focus on what is in front of me at times. Someone suggested meditation as way to find that focus. Perhaps I’ll give that a try at some point. In the meantime, I just went for a walk to run a few errands and am feeling a little more settled, so………

The way I treat you is how I feel about you as a person. We both deserve to have someone in our lives who treats us properly and doesn’t objectify us or take us for granted. I’d prefer to tell you in person, but I want you to feel valued and equal in the relationship. Besides, I like seeing your happy face. That makes me happy.

Yes, I do remember that most of our conversation on the first date was not about the arrangement. It’s one of the best dates I’ve ever had; there was no pretense, it was all about two people getting to know each other. Very nice 🙂

For tomorrow, meeting at Scotiabank at 3:30pm sounds good to me. I’m keen to see Prisoners, perhaps we can do the ROM another time. I’m not really sensitive to us always going to the movies because I do that anyway. It really is my primary form of entertainment, I love the experience and I love sharing it with you. When I was on my own I would go to the movies on a Friday afternoon and then have a nice meal and a glass of wine as a treat to myself for a long week of training. It is much more special now because I get to do that with you 🙂

Have a great day and I’m looking forward to seeing you tomorrow 🙂

RR.

xoxoxoxo

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From: JZ
Sent: September-20-13 1:20 AM
To: RR
Subject: Re: Happy 3 Months

Hi honey pookie bear,

I think you are sleeping like a baby while I am typing this email 🙂 I hope you have a great sleep and feel good when I see you tomorrow.

You write just fine. But sometimes I have mind blocks or be a bit scattered minded too 🙂 I am not sure if mediation helps, but it doesn’t hurt to give it a try. Maybe it will calm your mind down.

I can’t wait to see you after one more sleep. I love watching movies with you too actually. We can save ROM for next time when there are no good movies showing.

Sorry for my short message, my eyes wouldn’t stay open hehe. Goodnight and see you very soon. Sleep tight.

Xoxo,

JZ

 

Sent from my iPhone

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From: RR
Sent: September-20-13 7:31 AM
To: JZ
Subject: RE: Happy 3 Months

Hey gorgeous baby monkey,

No worries about the short message. I’m always happy to hear from you 🙂

Hope you had a good sleep last night and I’ll see you shortly. I can’t wait to see you 🙂

RR.

xoxoxoxo

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