Gratitude Journal – Post 12

Ok, the interview yesterday went better than expected and it was exactly what I thought it was, the HR Manager knew me. I think that’s why they invited me to interview for the position. That said, they actually took time during the interview to understand how my work experience could be a good fit for the role. Other interviews I’ve had up until now have felt like they are purposely trying to disqualify me, which likely means that it is a contract renewal. This seems like a legitimate position, and I really got the feeling that they were honestly considering me for the role.

So, I’m very grateful for that. Even if I’m not successful, being taken seriously has been a big confidence booster.

In terms of the role itself, it’s billed as a full-time role but is actually a contract position. They legitimately want to have someone apply business process methodologies to their operational processes and look for efficiencies, but they’ve rightfully recognised that the work for this role will be front loaded. Once the initial push is over, there likely won’t be enough work to sustain the position full time, which is why they want to transition the person into a To Be Determined role at the end of the first 2 years. And that’s why they were looking for specific qualifications in the job description which weren’t germane to the role’s responsibilities. They want to give themselves options in placing the incumbent.

That said, I’ll be out in space again. I’ve been here before. There will be two factors in play at the end of the two-year rotation. Performance and available positions. If one or both of those two things are not optimal then I’ll be made redundant. The cost of the redundancy will be quite low given the small amount of time I’ll have been with company, and it’ll likely be a lower amount than the annual bonus amount. In other words, there won’t be a disincentive to entertain the redundancy option.

I’m okay with having to look for something else in two years time. As long as I’m aware that this is a potential outcome, I can accommodate accordingly. I seem to be favouring a more transient career, so this will fit in quite nicely.

Anyway, let’s see how this progresses. I’d rather not put the cart before the horse.



After A While by Veronica A. Shoffstall

After a while you learn
the subtle difference between
holding a hand and chaining a soul
and you learn
that love doesn’t mean leaning
and company doesn’t always mean security.
And you begin to learn
that kisses aren’t contracts
and presents aren’t promises
and you begin to accept your defeats
with your head up and your eyes ahead
with the grace of woman,
not the grief of a child
and you learn
to build all your roads on today
because tomorrow’s ground is
too uncertain for plans
and futures have a way of falling down
in mid-flight.
After a while you learn
that even sunshine burns
if you get too much
so you plant your own garden
and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone
to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure
you really are strong
you really do have worth
and you learn
and you learn
with every goodbye, you learn…



Charles Bukowski

“I was settled into nothingness; a kind of non-being, and I accepted it. It didn’t make for an interesting person. I didn’t want to be interesting, it was too hard. What I really wanted was only a soft, hazy space to live in, and to be left alone.”

– Charles Bukowski







It’s not that people can’t love you if you don’t love yourself. It’s that you won’t feel it because it’ll always seem like you don’t deserve it.






A secret to happiness is letting every situation be what it is instead of what you think it should be, and then making the best of it.